bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
