This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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