Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize