'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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