therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
