So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
