I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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