those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
