K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize