I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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