she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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