So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
