your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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