mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
