i don't plan on having that self control this summer
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
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