Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
