Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
