Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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