The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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