its not stalking. its research.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
