okay pat passed out under dana's car
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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