This girl is more easily done than said...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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