Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
