he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't deserve a penis
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
