she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
