I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just high enough for therapy.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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