dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
