8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
