I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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