hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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