we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
