And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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