oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
