guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
