this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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