you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
