Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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