I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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