to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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