Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
