we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
