Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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