Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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