If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
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Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
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She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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