You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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