I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
