jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
