He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
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