I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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