I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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