just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
