I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
