You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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