when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
