They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
