We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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