I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
