I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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