4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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