Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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