I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
