Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
NoShamevember. You game?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
