hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
