Ambien. No doubt about it.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
