If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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