in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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