i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
