Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
