he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my sisters under your porch take her home
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
