hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
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My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
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He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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