um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
