Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
